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A GUIDE FOR TEACHING MATHEMATICS: Part II

Author unknown

The first part of this guide has dealt with actual teaching, concentrating on lecturing "tricks", techniques and preparation. The subject of the second part will be general appearances.

Students tend to have more confidence in an instructor if they believe he or she has athorough understanding of his or her field. To show a class that one has a thorough understanding of mathematics, it is necessary to appear "spaced out". Being "spaced out" implies one is so involved with abstract mathematics that one has lost touch with the real world. There are several ways to project such an image.

  1. Dress funny. Old suits, baggy pants, narrow ties, and hairy sweaters are all effective and even more so, when worn together.
  2. Don't wash your sweatshirts. Albert Einstein is best remembered for two things --- being a genius and wearing dirty sweathirts. Even if you are not a genius, you can still wear the sweatshirts. In a matter of weeks, you will gain such a reputation that no one will come near enough to challenge it.
  3. Don't comb your hair with anything finer than your left hand.
  4. Walk into the wrong room and begin to lecture to whatever class is in it. This will help spread your reputation beyond your own students.
  5. Walk into the correct classroom and begin lecturing on whatever happens to be left on the blackboard from the previous class.
  6. Pretend you are deaf if someone asks a question or the bell rings while you are lecturing. Try to keep talking after everyone has left the room.
By being properly "spaced out", one will gain the confidence and the respect of one's students. This will make it easier to help inspire them in their study of mathematics. Being properly "spaced out" will also help one to acquire tenure at this or any other reputable college or university.

This article was found in an old milk bottle on the back steps of the Editor's home. It has been published elsewhere, and we would like to give the proper credit. Please let us know the author and original publication.


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